The Life of a Gaming Dad - 0m - 2m
If you're a hefty gamer and are expecting a baby in the near future, you're going to hear many variations of one particular phrase said to you over and over leading up to the baby's birth : "Oh, you better kiss your games goodbye!" Is it true? Absolutely not. It's complete bullshit to be honest with you. Will it drop a bit? Of course it will, but that's to be expected. You may even decide on your own to give up (or mostly give up) your gaming. But is it a required sacrifice? Again I say absolutely not. I decided I wanted to chronicle a portion of my little boy's life while I continue to game and run this blog. This isn't necessarily a "how to" pull it off, this is mostly just because I've heard this talked about as some taboo subject that you can't have both. I want to show though that you can. So before I dive into how it's gone so far, there's a few key elements to being able to both that, without them, you most certainly will have to give it up.
1. Baby Always Wins.
The first choice you have to make isn't really a choice at all. It's the realization that your child comes first. Whether they become hungry, need a diaper change, whatever it may be takes total precedence over that level you're trying to get through or that boss you're trying to beat. It will be frustrating at times, sure, because it'll seem like your baby is trying to fuss just when you get to the parts that require the most focus. But no matter what, they always win. Honestly, for the first couple weeks of my little boy's life I didn't even want to look at my games, I just wanted to look at him. And it wasn't that that feeling went away, it is definitely still there and I doubt it'll ever go away. But he most certainly won those first couple weeks. And he's still winning. One of my favorite things to play is NHL online, and I've gotten to be pretty good. However, you check out my record right now and it won't look that way because I have a lot more losses than wins currently. Why? Because there have been plenty of games I've flat up walked away from because he needed a new bottle or a diaper change, and I'm perfectly okay with having a losing record and a happy baby.
2. Pause. Pause. Pause.
There's this magical little button on every gaming controller that allows you to freeze the game you're playing. This becomes extremely crucial once your baby is in your life. He's going to fuss, and he's going to do it a lot. Is he hungry? Needs a diaper? Fighting sleep? Gassy? There's so many things that will cause your little one to stir up a storm, and this button helps you be there for him or her. It's going to suck when you have to pause right in the middle of something big going on, but as with my first point, your baby always wins. So if you are going to balance these two things (gaming and baby) this one little button is probably going to be the most crucial piece of your gaming collection.
3. Don't be a Zombie Gamer.
Now, I realize with writing this one that unfortunately, not everybody gets to raise the baby together as a team. Whether it be an imbalance due to work lives, or the parents not being together, whatever the reason may be, I know this point won't apply in all situations. But for those that this does apply to, don't leave your partner hanging out to dry. Whether you're reading this as the Gamer Dad or the Gamer Mom, you and your partner are a team. So don't think that you can pull a baby dump and go off on a Call of Duty binge for six hours, that won't work. Make sure you can always see or hear your baby while you're gaming, and keep the above two points in mind. But if you turn into a zombie gamer, you'll end up with issues between you and your partner, and you're going to miss a lot of what your baby does, and both of those are things you don't want to happen.
You guys have seen my game room (and if not you can here). When I'm in there, I'll have him with me in his swing, so I can jump right to Leon if he needs help with something. My other solution is the fact that I have some extra gaming stuff set up in the living room too so I can spend time with my fiancee, have access to some game stuff (I have a PS3, Wii, and Atari 2600 hooked up to the main TV giving me access to PS1, PS3, Wii, GameCube, and Atari games, and I also have a smaller TV set up near my spot on the couch with a PS2 giving me PS1 and PS2 access) so we're both right there with our boy, and she doesn't feel like I'm pulling a baby dump on her while I go down to the game room.
So it can work, and these are really the only things you need to make it work. So if you have a baby on the way and people are telling you to kiss your games goodbye, feel free to laugh in their face.
Now, on to what this blog series is really going to be about. All these posts will not be this long, I just want to share a few details of what's happened specifically with Leon growing up while I game and blog. This series will go on until he's started gaming himself, and I'll probably post every two or three months.
0m - 1m
Like I mentioned above, the first couple of weeks I didn't do a single second of gaming. It wasn't for any reason other than I just didn't want to. I loved looking at him, I loved holding him, and honestly I was afraid of him breaking that when I had him, he had my full attention. Slowly, I started learning my boundaries of what I could and couldn't do with him in my arms, figuring out his balance, and figuring out what positions made him comfortable. After the first couple of weeks, the biggest step was mastering holding the controller while holding the baby. It's not easy at first, especially since like I said, I felt he was extremely breakable. The bigger issue for me too was that Leon started getting control of his head extremely early, so he'd try holding it up and end up throwing himself one way or another, so I had to find the perfect way to hold him so that if he did that, he wouldn't go flying out of my arms. And obviously if that were the case, the controller would be dropped in favor of the baby. (That actually happened one day, I don't remember what I was playing but I was in the middle of something and he decided to sit himself up a bit and then teeter backwards. I threw my controller down - literally threw it - to keep him safe. Remember Rule #1). But, once I found that balance, I fell right back into my usual gaming habits, well almost full gaming habits. I don't do it as much as I had before he was born, but that's definitely not a problem for me.
1m - 2m
Since he's had great control of his head so early, he loves actually watching me play. We have the nursing pillow that my fiancee used at first for feeding him, that now we just use to hold him in our laps on the couch because honestly he just loves the pillow. And a lot of the times that I take him on my end is when I'm playing a game, so I'll get him situated on the pillow with him either "sitting up" facing me or laying flat with his head facing up at the ceiling. No matter which of these two positions he's in, he'll swing his head sideways until he can look at the TV screen I'm using and watch the game.
He's also been interacting more with things you put near his hands, so I've had a little fun putting my controllers in his lap and letting him react. I've attached some pictures below to show a little of the things I've mentioned in this article.
I hope you guys enjoyed this post, I know it's more personal and slightly off subject for the blog but it still applies. Like I mentioned earlier, almost from the moment we started telling people that my fiancee was pregnant, all my coworkers would look at me and say that my gaming had to go. I knew right away that it wasn't true, that I could still dedicate time to my son and watching him grow up while I continued on with my gaming habits. It's been two months, and I haven't slacked in either area. Yes, it will change my gaming and it already has, but it'll never cause it to be completely removed from my life. It's just like many things in life, it's all about finding the harmony and balance. And for this, it was easy. Honestly, it really comes down to honoring the three "rules" that I mentioned at the beginning of the post, that's really the whole key to this whole situation.
I will see you guys in a few more months with another update on how he's grown and how he continues to be an equal part in my life and this blog.
1. Baby Always Wins.
The first choice you have to make isn't really a choice at all. It's the realization that your child comes first. Whether they become hungry, need a diaper change, whatever it may be takes total precedence over that level you're trying to get through or that boss you're trying to beat. It will be frustrating at times, sure, because it'll seem like your baby is trying to fuss just when you get to the parts that require the most focus. But no matter what, they always win. Honestly, for the first couple weeks of my little boy's life I didn't even want to look at my games, I just wanted to look at him. And it wasn't that that feeling went away, it is definitely still there and I doubt it'll ever go away. But he most certainly won those first couple weeks. And he's still winning. One of my favorite things to play is NHL online, and I've gotten to be pretty good. However, you check out my record right now and it won't look that way because I have a lot more losses than wins currently. Why? Because there have been plenty of games I've flat up walked away from because he needed a new bottle or a diaper change, and I'm perfectly okay with having a losing record and a happy baby.
2. Pause. Pause. Pause.
There's this magical little button on every gaming controller that allows you to freeze the game you're playing. This becomes extremely crucial once your baby is in your life. He's going to fuss, and he's going to do it a lot. Is he hungry? Needs a diaper? Fighting sleep? Gassy? There's so many things that will cause your little one to stir up a storm, and this button helps you be there for him or her. It's going to suck when you have to pause right in the middle of something big going on, but as with my first point, your baby always wins. So if you are going to balance these two things (gaming and baby) this one little button is probably going to be the most crucial piece of your gaming collection.
3. Don't be a Zombie Gamer.
Now, I realize with writing this one that unfortunately, not everybody gets to raise the baby together as a team. Whether it be an imbalance due to work lives, or the parents not being together, whatever the reason may be, I know this point won't apply in all situations. But for those that this does apply to, don't leave your partner hanging out to dry. Whether you're reading this as the Gamer Dad or the Gamer Mom, you and your partner are a team. So don't think that you can pull a baby dump and go off on a Call of Duty binge for six hours, that won't work. Make sure you can always see or hear your baby while you're gaming, and keep the above two points in mind. But if you turn into a zombie gamer, you'll end up with issues between you and your partner, and you're going to miss a lot of what your baby does, and both of those are things you don't want to happen.
You guys have seen my game room (and if not you can here). When I'm in there, I'll have him with me in his swing, so I can jump right to Leon if he needs help with something. My other solution is the fact that I have some extra gaming stuff set up in the living room too so I can spend time with my fiancee, have access to some game stuff (I have a PS3, Wii, and Atari 2600 hooked up to the main TV giving me access to PS1, PS3, Wii, GameCube, and Atari games, and I also have a smaller TV set up near my spot on the couch with a PS2 giving me PS1 and PS2 access) so we're both right there with our boy, and she doesn't feel like I'm pulling a baby dump on her while I go down to the game room.
So it can work, and these are really the only things you need to make it work. So if you have a baby on the way and people are telling you to kiss your games goodbye, feel free to laugh in their face.
Now, on to what this blog series is really going to be about. All these posts will not be this long, I just want to share a few details of what's happened specifically with Leon growing up while I game and blog. This series will go on until he's started gaming himself, and I'll probably post every two or three months.
0m - 1m
Like I mentioned above, the first couple of weeks I didn't do a single second of gaming. It wasn't for any reason other than I just didn't want to. I loved looking at him, I loved holding him, and honestly I was afraid of him breaking that when I had him, he had my full attention. Slowly, I started learning my boundaries of what I could and couldn't do with him in my arms, figuring out his balance, and figuring out what positions made him comfortable. After the first couple of weeks, the biggest step was mastering holding the controller while holding the baby. It's not easy at first, especially since like I said, I felt he was extremely breakable. The bigger issue for me too was that Leon started getting control of his head extremely early, so he'd try holding it up and end up throwing himself one way or another, so I had to find the perfect way to hold him so that if he did that, he wouldn't go flying out of my arms. And obviously if that were the case, the controller would be dropped in favor of the baby. (That actually happened one day, I don't remember what I was playing but I was in the middle of something and he decided to sit himself up a bit and then teeter backwards. I threw my controller down - literally threw it - to keep him safe. Remember Rule #1). But, once I found that balance, I fell right back into my usual gaming habits, well almost full gaming habits. I don't do it as much as I had before he was born, but that's definitely not a problem for me.
1m - 2m
Since he's had great control of his head so early, he loves actually watching me play. We have the nursing pillow that my fiancee used at first for feeding him, that now we just use to hold him in our laps on the couch because honestly he just loves the pillow. And a lot of the times that I take him on my end is when I'm playing a game, so I'll get him situated on the pillow with him either "sitting up" facing me or laying flat with his head facing up at the ceiling. No matter which of these two positions he's in, he'll swing his head sideways until he can look at the TV screen I'm using and watch the game.
He's also been interacting more with things you put near his hands, so I've had a little fun putting my controllers in his lap and letting him react. I've attached some pictures below to show a little of the things I've mentioned in this article.
He'll frequently pass out in my arms while I play games.
He even likes to help daddy write the blog too, not just help him with the fun part of playing the games.
This is honestly my favorite image of my son so far. He's started babbling already so we had him sat up and he turned his head to look at the TV while I was playing a game. So just to see what would happen, I placed the controller in his lap and he let out an excited babble within a couple of minutes and I was lucky enough to capture him in the middle of it. He looks like he's done something so exciting in the game and he's super proud of himself and just looks insanely adorable in this image.
I hope you guys enjoyed this post, I know it's more personal and slightly off subject for the blog but it still applies. Like I mentioned earlier, almost from the moment we started telling people that my fiancee was pregnant, all my coworkers would look at me and say that my gaming had to go. I knew right away that it wasn't true, that I could still dedicate time to my son and watching him grow up while I continued on with my gaming habits. It's been two months, and I haven't slacked in either area. Yes, it will change my gaming and it already has, but it'll never cause it to be completely removed from my life. It's just like many things in life, it's all about finding the harmony and balance. And for this, it was easy. Honestly, it really comes down to honoring the three "rules" that I mentioned at the beginning of the post, that's really the whole key to this whole situation.
I will see you guys in a few more months with another update on how he's grown and how he continues to be an equal part in my life and this blog.
